You gorgeous, majestic creature of magical flight. You’re so awesome, it isn’t enough to just have a perfect unicorn horn, you also need wings! Sometimes your other less cool unicorn friends who don’t have cars bum rides off you, but hey, that’s alright, because you can fly.
Important thing to consider: When they say Odysseus was a “Greek hero” isn’t it possible that was a mistranslation of “Greek gyro”? —same pronunciation and all.
I mean, at no point in the Odyssey do they explicitly state Odysseus is not a sandwich. I prefer to interpret the story as one of a great sandwich traversing the seas on a journey home to his wife and half-sandwich son.
It little profits that a tuna melt,
By this still hearth, among these kitchen shelves,
Match’d with an agèd knife, a meat on roll
Unequal lunch beside an open-face,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
IT little profits that an idle king, By this still hearth, among these barren crags, Match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole Unequal laws unto a savage race, That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.